The subject of domestic violence has been in the news and on the airwaves in Boston, as Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Brett Meyers was recently arrested for assaulting his wife on the street outside a local bar. The incident reminds us once again that domestic violence is a reality in far too many relationships, and that fame, money, and social status do not protect against it. What interested me most in following this story was not the incident itself, which of course was disturbing, but the reactions to it. As a litmus test for how we view domestic violence in 2006, some responses were disappointing and others were heartening.

I applaud the bystanders who witnessed the assault, called the police, and gave detailed accounts of what they saw and heard to the police and reporters. Their actions and statements were clear and congruent: what they saw was wrong, and it was their business. As part of MAAV’s bullying prevention program, we teach students that bystanders have the power to stop bullying, not necessarily by getting in the middle of a conflict, but by telling the appropriate authority figure or befriending the target. Those bystanders on the street in Boston got it right.

The official reaction of the Philadephia Phillies was disappointing, to say the least. They allowed Meyers to pitch the next day, made the irrelevant comment that he was "well-liked by his teammates" and asserted they supported him 100%. Meyers himself said that his personal life was separate from baseball. Wrong. The fans at Fenway let him know in no uncertain terms that his behavior off the field was unacceptable. Of course it’s easy to condemn an opposing player; the true test for Red Sox fans would be if one of our beloved players was in that situation. Hard to imagine, I know. But how would we react to one of "our guys" being abusive? Our response should be the same.

The latest news is that Brett Meyers has taken a leave of absence from baseball. Reportedly the fans in Philadelphia were disgusted by the assault and outraged by the team’s support of Meyers. Good for them. Public opinion does make a difference. I hope that Kimberly Meyers gets the help and support she needs. We can’t prevent all bullying, dating and domestic violence from happening, but sometimes our responses to it can mean the most.

Rebecca Mooney is the Executive Director of the Melrose Alliance Against Violence. For help or information, call 781-662-2010.