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Resources for Families

If you are parenting in an unhealthy or abusive relationship or you suspect your teenager may be in an abusive relationship, help is available. Please contact us at any time and see resources for parent/caregiver and teen survivors below.

Parent Survivors

The Resource Center on Domestic Violence estimates that anywhere from 3.3 million to 10 million US children are exposed to adult domestic violence each year. One researcher has estimated conservatively that 10 - 20% of children are exposed to intimate partner violence annually, with as many as one-third exposed at some point during childhood or adolescence.

 

Building and maintaining a strong relationship with a caring, nonviolent parent/caregiver is one of the best ways to help children recover and heal from these experiences. In support of this goal, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network created a set of fact sheets to help parents through this journey. Please explore the series using this link or contact us for more details.

 

Parenting Children Exposed to Violence

#1 – How Does Domestic Violence Affect Children?

#2 – Celebrating Your Child’s Strengths

#3 – Before You Talk to Your Children: How Your Feelings Matter

#4 – Listening and Talking to Your Child About Domestic Violence

#5 – The Importance of Playing with Your Children

#6 – Keeping Your Children Safe and Responding to Their Fears

#7 – Managing Challenging Behavior of Children Living with Domestic Violence

#8 – Where to Turn if You Are Worried About Your Child

#9 – Helping Your Child Navigate a Relationship with the Abusive Parent

#10 – A Parent’s Self-Care and Self-Reflection

Teen Survivors

While every relationship is different, there are common early warning signs of abuse in teenage dating relationships. If you recognize any of these red flags, please contact us for referral information.

  • Overly jealous or possessive

  • Demonstrates a need to control

  • Controls your child’s everyday events

  • Prone to violent outbursts

  • History of poor relationships

  • Infringes upon your child’s freedom to make choices for themselveshimself/herself

  • Limits the time your child spends with other people in person or online

  • Uses external pressure to influence decision making

  • Passes blame or denies their own mistakes

  • Uses put downs or playing mind games

  • Encourages your child to keep secrets

  • Causes your child to be more withdrawn

Basic Rights in a Relationship

Both partners in a relationship deserve following*

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  • The right to good will from the other.

  • The right to emotional support.

  • The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.

  • The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.

  • The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.

  • The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.

  • The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.

  • The right to live free from accusation and blame.

  • The right to live free from criticism and judgment.

  • The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.

  • The right to encouragement.

  • The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.

  • The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.

  • The right to be called by no name that devalues you.

  • The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.

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*Adapted from Patricia Evans 1992 book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship

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